Wednesday, June 18, 2014

16 June arrival in Santiago

I find it very hard to write about the last day Monday 16th June.  It was Tuesday night I started writing and late Wednesday afternoon before I was finished.

I managed to sleep through my 5:30am alarm probably because I had slept very little during the night. I woke at the repeat 15 minutes later and was walking by 6:15am as I had packed my bag the night before. Leaving earlier would have been difficult as the forest even then was very dark and I could only just find my way.

I walked the last 20km from O'Pedruzo in silence and fasted (apart from drinking water) until after the pilgrims mass at midday.  When I studied church history I couldn't understand why the mystics separated themselves out of the world but I am surprised at how often I use some of their techniques.

I did not answer the pilgrims who talked to me but held me finger in front of my lips to indicated I wasn't talking.  I shook hands with most that I met.  Some understood that I was greeting them others were completely puzzled.  Many who had been talking among themselves became silent until I was out of hearing from them which I really appreciated.  About an hour after starting I found myself crying and not understanding why. At one place the camino runs between the airport and the autopista. The builders had manged it very well and had the path dip down below road level and lots of planting both sides so that you walk through attractive trees.  I wish those who diverted the camino for other parts of autopista had been as thoughtful in the design of the path.

Halfway to Santiago is the town of Lavacolla - so named because this is where medieval pilgrims washed in the river before entering Santiago.  I needed a rest.  There is a large bar on the Camino but I knew if I stopped there I would break both the fast and the silence.  Brierley mentioned Capella de San Roque in a glade of trees 300m off the camino as a good place to spiritually cleanse yourself before entering Santiago. I hid from the busy road to the airport behind one of the trees to answer the call of nature and then lay down against another to rest. I also found that erotic thoughts had invaded my space and the rest gave me a chance to push these aside.  I know they are part of my nature but not a part I wanted to explore at this special time.  I noticed my feet were throbbing from the pain of walking over 700km. I had meant to rest for only 10 minutes but it was 30 before I could find the strength to continue.

Shortly after I started walking Sandy from South Africa passed me. Unlike yesterday I couldn't keep up her fast pace and soon drifted behind her.  While before my rest I had met maybe a dozen pilgrims over 10km now there were very many.  After Monte Guzo I stopped shaking hands and just walked.

Entering the old town I lost my place on the map and when I entered Praza do Obradoiro - the end of the camino - I wasn't sure where I was.  Charles came up and put his arms around me from behind.  Then he and Anne-Claire hugged me as I wept for the second time that day. Charles and Anne-Claire had only just entered the plaza in time to see me arrive. I am convinced God had a hand in having them arrive in the plaza the same time as me.  Finally after carrying other peoples packs I accepted the gift of Charles carrying mine off to the left luggage area at the pilgrims office as backpacks are not permitted in the cathedral.  I found Carl, Anna and Stephanie inside the cathedral. I initially sat with Carl but decided I felt much more comfortable with Anne-Claire and Charles after their welcome for me.  Eva told me later she was there having to stand as all seats were taken but I did not see her.

I continued to cry frequently over the next 2 hours and less frequently over the rest of my time in Santiago. Some times I cried in overwhelming happiness, other times I cried for the parts of me I hope I have left behind on the camino and will no longer be part of my life. I cried as I remembered the many acts of kindness from pilgrims and ordinary Spanish people along the way.  Sometimes I don't know why I cried. I do know I could never have completed the journey without the help and encouragement of so  many people - those who travelled the physical camino with me, and those of you who travelled the spiritual camino with me in your prayers from New Zealand and many other places in the world.

At 7pm I returned to the cathedral and hugged the statue of St James.  That is where the camino ends and where this blog will end.  If you want to know about my travels in England please friend me on facebook.

The camino of the road has finished
But the camino in my heart has hardly begun
Each of you are an arrow marking the way
Sometimes your arrows are clear and bright and I follow them easily
Sometimes they will be lost in the business of my life and I won't see them
Sometimes I will fail to see the true path overgrown with the weeds of my pride, anger or envy
Then I will follow the wide path before me in vain
Sometimes I will just be looking the wrong way - 
Too busy reading the guide book to actually look at the path I walk
But wherever I go I know that you will be busy in my heart and in my dreams painting new arrows for me to find and follow
With your love and God's love I know in time I will find the true Camino and live the happy life that waits for me at the end.
Written in a park overlooking the old city of Santiago de Compostella on the afternoon of Wednesday 18 June

To those of you who walked with me here in Spain I misappropriate the words of Tom Springfield
High above the dawn is waking
And my tears are falling rain
For the Camino is over
We may never meet again


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